Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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