people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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