can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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