Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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