you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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