I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
