So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
