how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
