he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dick very happy bro
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
