ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
