So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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