dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
