I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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