He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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