the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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