This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
