Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
