Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
