so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
