I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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