I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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