I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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