HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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