problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
