my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
