the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
