Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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