p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
