Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
