so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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