i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
