Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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