it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
