Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
