Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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