My liver just broke up with me...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
