One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
