I CAN MOONWALK!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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