You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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