I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
