i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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