Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
