I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
