you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
