I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
