So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
