my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize