Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
