Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
