She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
