i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
