You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
