There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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