woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
